The Zombie Survival Guide Deck
The Zombie Survival Guide Deck Complete Protection From The Living Dead The Zombie Survival Guide Deck
In this outrageous parody of a survival guide, Saturday Night Live staff writer Brooks prepares humanity for its eventual battle with zombies. One would expect the son of Mel Brooks to have a genetic predisposition to humor, and indeed, he does, and he exhibits it relentlessly here: he outlines virtually every possible zombie-human encounter, drafts detailed plans for defense and attack and outlines past recorded attacks dating from 60,000 B.C. to 2002. In planning for that catastrophic day when"the dead rise," Brooks urges readers to get to know themselves, their bodies, their weaponry, their surroundings and, just in case, their escape routes. The Zombie Survival Guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. Fully illustrated and exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain. Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack 1. Organize before they rise! 2. They feel no fear, why should you? 3. Use your head: cut off theirs. 4. Blades don't need reloading. 5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair. 6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it. 7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike. 8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert! 9. No place is safe, only safer. 10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on. Don't be carefree and foolish with your most precious asset--life. This book is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now without your even knowing it. The Zombie Survival Guide offers complete protection through trusted, proven tips for safeguarding yourself and your loved ones against the living dead. It is a book that can save your life.
The dead walk among us. This flashcard deck was created to provide private citizens? people with limited time and resources? with an emergency crash course in basic zombie survival techniques. Organized by theme, this deck includes commonsense advice that will be your first asset in a moment of panic: Avoid dressing in chain mail, plate mail, or any other heavy body armor: Without the speed or agility to outrun your attackers, you?ll end up as little more than canned food. Consider all factors when choosing a weapon: Once a chain saw runs out of fuel, it provides as much protection as a handheld stereo. Know your enemy: Our greatest advantage over the undead is our ability to think. Use your head, and cut off theirs!